Kids of today...

A FEW months ago I made a solemn promise to myself that I’d challenge IDIOTS on public transport. Last week, I broke that promise, for two reasons…

• The boys in question might have MASHED me up
• These were child GENIUSES.

Let me explain:

Back in the 90’s, when I was growing up, we had these gadgets called WALKMANS. They were portable cassette tape recorders. So if you were on the move, you could still listen to 2UNLIMITED through earplugs. Clever, eh? The device was named a PERSONAL STEREO.

Kids of today? Well it’s all I-pods, and flashy mobile phones that double up as mp3 players. But it’s not personal anymore. Every time you get on a bus you’re subjected to whatever garbage the spotty, greasy adolescents are listening to…

But wait! Hypocrite, you say! What about the GHETTO BLASTER? Well yes, kids of the late 20^th Century did sometimes bring BOOM BOXES on the odd public transport trip. But that was different: with one of those babies you could blast out KRISS KROSS (or other hippety-hoppety) loud and proud, at a decent decibelage. Now, groups of pikeys slouch on the back seat, listening to something that sounds like it’s coming out of a TIN CAN…

....Come on! If you can’t keep it PERSONAL, at least you should play your tunes through a device with a decent amount of bass!

Anyway, I promised myself that I’d challenge these fools next time they got on the bus.

The problem is, EVERYONE on board can’t stand the rackett but NO-ONE does anything. Rows and rows of grown-ups sit there and cringing, or playing with their mobile phones as if they were video games. How many texts are you sending? Adults have become COWARDS these days, and it’s EMBARRASSING…

…I mean, ok there is a rise in STABBINGS and SHOOTINGS over the last two years. However, when I turned towards the back seat once, it was only a pair of 13 year-old girls with pig tails. GANGSTERS? Please! No somebody’s got to be grown up and take action.

Yet last week, as two HOODIES sat down behind me, I didn’t kick up a fuss, but got out my pen and pad. You see, this summer I’ve immersed myself in the life and culture of residents on a Sheffield council estate as part of my degree`. These two, with their swaggers, wonky baseball, and coarse language, set the scene of urban life perfectly.

As I looked out of the grubby windows, the rattling BASSLINE HOUSE, pumping from their pathetic MOTOROLA’S provided a gritty backdrop the grimy streets that flashed by. I was even nodding my head and tapping my feet to the beat. YEH BWOY!

Little did they know, but they were actively engaging in an MA in Print Journalism! I really wanted to congratulate them on how clever they were, but then stopped myself – I didn’t want to get SHANKED!!!!